First[Snow].{LIZZY!!`

[jay macburren]

Jay's blue eyes were sharp again, having it been three days since ... the incedent. He didn't even care to think of it. Snow crunched underneath his feet, he wasn't used to this weather. Rain, yes. Snow, no. It was so pretty, but why did it have to be this cold? He had heard about snow, but this was the first time he had seen it with his own eyes. All he had heard about it was true. The difference in every single one, they all looked different. All looked beautiful. His eyes fallowed a few that he was able to see, tracing the lines with a puzzled look on his face. People had told them they were small, but he hadn't belived they were this small, with as much as they could pile up to. He knew it was cold out, but 9 degrees? It wasn't nice feeling on his nose.

One landed on his nose, and he gazed down at it with slight astonishment. The cross-eyed junior whipped it off, then looking around, he blinked a couple times. He had always wanted to try this... He stuck out his tounge trying to catch one on it. He was quite unbalenced, trying to catch one, looking at each one cross-eyed. He hoped no one found him here, chasing after snow-flakes.

[elizabeth keighle]

Elizabeth Labelle Keighle

DREAMS ARE ILLUSIONS
THEY FADE AWAY BEFORE WE CAN CATCH THEM

I looked at the sheet of lyrics in front of my face and started singing it out loud, I walked up and down my dorm whilst practising, but something kept going wrong, and my voice kept breaking up. This had been happening for the past 3 days... I hadn't slept well at all, probably having two hours each night, and then going back to practising quietly at about 3am. I hadn't been eating well either, the most I ate was two days ago, consisting of a sandwich and a chocolate bar. Today, I had nothing so far, and only drank sweet tea. I looked a little bit ill, with purple rings under my eyes, really pale skin and colourless lips. It's not my fault really, but in a way, it is. Although, I hadn't brought this on myself.

I took a drink of the tea I had now, and went back to the sheet of words, and again, my voice cracked. I dropped everything I was doing and walked over to the mirror, looking at myself sadly, and what had happened over the past few days. I glared when Jay came to my mind, the stupid, heartbreaking prick! I made a fist, getting really worked up about it and punched the mirror. Sharp bits of glass fell from the mirror and onto the floor, some catching my skin, some missing. I looked at my hand with a sigh, no surprise it was bleeding, it probably needed stitching up a bit too. Not my problem. Not yet anyway. A bit of the glass had just missed my eye and tore down my cheek, and now that was bleeding too. Hmph. What's wrong with me?

I walked towards the window looking worse than ever and opened the curtains. They had been closed for three days, and the only light I allowed was a dull lamp next to my bed that hardly worked. I saw loads of white outside and blinked. Eh? Now I was seeing things, surely, I mean, since when did it snow!? I walked over to a little table and grabbed some fingerless gloves. Meh, these'd do for now.

I was wearing a white vest top with a red heart, black shorts with tights and black heeled boots that came just below my knees. I slung on a small black jacket decorated with small silver stars and rolled up the sleeves, and now, I had some black fingerless gloves on and a silver heart necklace just for decoration.

I weakly walked out of my dorm, searching my pockets for a key. Oh what's the point? So what if something gets stolen? It's going to be no use to me when I'm dead. I just closed it and got outside, holding my arms just above the elbow. I started walking and realized it was freezing, well I'm not going back, I told myself silently. There was no point, just like everything else that has anything to do with me. It'd probably just let me down. I sighed again and walked to the fountain, looking for something to do. Snowflakes landed in my hair, on my arms, my clothes and my eyelashes. It was actually quite annoying, but I did nothing about it. There was the fountain, was it frozen? Nah, it's not that cold, even though it feels like it.

Then I saw a figure chasing snowflakes around, idiot, I thought flatly, when I took a closer look I saw it wasn't just any idiot, it was the leader of the idiots, Jay MacBurren. Wow. I'm so happy. Not. I looked at my hand to see if it was still bleeding and it was, turn back now or there'll be a huge fuss, a voice said in my mind. And that's what I did, I turned around and started walking again. Please, Jay can't see me now, not like this! Not with purple rings under my eyes, not with pale, dead looking skin, not with a bleeding cheek and hand...

... But something inside me just knew he'd notice me.

[jay macburren]

When he finnaly managed to catch one on his tounge, his cheeks hurt from staying in that position for so long. He steadied himself, standing up straight before he had a chance to fall over. He looked around, thinking no one had seen him chasing around snow flakes, but someone had. Some one blonde, that he saw every day. Someone who he knew couldn't tolerate his guts. Actually, she would probally take great pleasure in seeing his guts.

He ran over to the girl, knowing now it was Elizabeth. He wasn't running nearly as fast as he could, for fear of slipping on ice. He was sure it couldn't hurt possably as much as falling on cement. He was sure you couldn't cut open your knee on ice. He finnaly caught up whith her, and looknig at her hand, and cheek, he said, "Are you okay, Elizabeth? What happened?" He asked. Her skin looked pale, paler than usually in winter, and there were rings around her eyes as if she had put on make-up too heivily then smudged it off.

[elizabeth keighle]

I heard footsteps coming up behind me, but I didn't stop for him. I wouldn't stop for anyone or anything at the moment, not even if I found a huge sack of money in front of me. I knew the spider would catch up to me eventually, I knew he wasn't exactly running either. A fear of slipping on ice and snow, possibly? I knew he'd be looking at the cuts from the mirror I smashed, and I knew he'd be able to see the paleness of my skin, the rings under my eyes and the colourlessness of my lips. And not to my surprise, he stopped in front of me and asked me what's up. I had to stop this time before I crashed into him and fell, because this time, I didn't have the strength to push him away or harm him in any way.

I looked up at his face, with dead grey eyes. What's my excuse this time? I'll have to say something different to what really happened, even if it was obvious I was lying. He's probably asking me this so he can spread it around the school, wrecking my reputation. When I pulled out of my thoughts to really look at him, I knew he actually cared. I breathed out sharply, going back to thinking up an excuse. I realized now, if I told him what really happened it would worry him to death - which would then annoy me. Why did everything have to be so complicated for me? Why can't life run smoothly? If you knew what would happen everyday for the rest of your life, it'd be boring. I thought for a second. That was true, but it would be helpful at times like this...

It's fake. I lied weakly. You'd know straight away I was lying, it wasn't exactly hard to tell. My voice was lifeless, dull and flat. No emotion crossed my face at all. I didn't know how to feel any more.

Exhaustion suddenly flooded over me, until I couldn't stand alone any more. I fell forwards and grabbed on to Jay for support. This is what you get for not eating or sleeping. A voice whispered in my head. I found myself not clinging on to Jay now... I was giving him a hug. I felt so stupid and sorry for everything I'd done, especially to Jay. It wasn't an 'i love you' hug, it was just a small friendly hug. Tears ran down my face, though my face gave away no emotion still. I was a mess, and now I felt as if I couldn't do anything about it. I would have said sorry to Jay, but I couldn't speak, it was as if my lips had frozen, but I knew they hadn't.

Why did this have to happen now, of all times? I wasn't ready for death at this stage. I wanted to live. I had a good life here and now, but I was throwing it away as if it meant nothing at all.

This is what I get for not eating and sleeping, the voice rang in my ears and gave me a headache.

[jay macburren]

Jay looked at Elizabeth with consern. When she muttered the lie, he knew right away. There was no way the wounds were fake, there was no way the paleness was make-up. And even if it was, it was too far away from Halloween to have that stuff. Well, no. Jay had a friend back home that always had Halloween make-up on. But she was strange, and nothing like Lizzy. Or at least, not the Lizzy he knew. The Lizzy he knew was bright, peppy. No where near goth. He reached up his hand to whipe off some of the blood on her cheek. That was defantly real. Before he knew what was happening, his friend was falling, and as fast as he could, he helped her regain stability. Then, she was hugging him.

If at first you don't sucseed, try, try again. Jay looked down at Elizabeth, saying very carefully, "Will you go to the Christmas dance with me?"

[elizabeth keighle]

When I felt Jay's arms around me, I could imagine a broken glass heart, and as we hugged small, pointed shards started building from the outside. I stared ahead at the snow covered fountain and sighed, if I let go now, I'll fall, I thought, blinking quickly as a snowflake landed in my eye. Cold! I silently squealed. Jay wiped some blood from my cheek, bringing me back to the moment. When I looked up at him I knew my grey eyes were getting brighter for some strange reason. Why? I still partly hated him, though the hug was softening me up a little. Now this is all your fault. The voice said in a dark tone, my silent reply was, I don't mind that this is my fault - it should really be this way all the time.

Ok, I then realized I must be really ill to be thinking that. It's not right. I didn't even think like this before we fell out! Like when he fell over when I was with Sabrina, I was all edgy there. Something bad is happening now, I can feel it. Something is going to freeze me again.

I was right. Jay then asked me to the dance again. My throat went tight, and my body stiffened as he asked. If I said no now, he'd just keep bothering me, but if I said yes, it would be one dance that lasts for a few hours, which will later be over. My lips parted so I could answer, but I hesitated. Just say it, Lizzy! The voice hissed violently.

Fine, but don't try anything funny. I whispered blankly, not exactly finding my voice, I'll tell you the truth too. I've slept for two hours each night for the past three days, the most I've eaten was yesterday, when I ate a sandwich and a chocolate bar, I have pressured myself into practising a song for hours on end and... I paused for a moment, wondering how to say this in a nice way, I looked in the mirror, and when I thought of you, I smashed it, and a bit of glass caught my cheek. That's why I'm bleeding.

I looked at the floor as I spoke. I didn't want to see his expression when he knew what was wrong.

[jay macburren]

Jay looked down at the blonde, making sure if she did lose balance and fall, he would catch her. He had had a strange emptiness, with out Elizabeth, he had almost tried getting high. But he wouldn't do that. Jay was looking at Lizzy carefully. How breakable, she looks. He thought. How very fragile, like a glass doll. He thought.

He wanted to laugh when she said yes, and for him not to try anything funny. But then, he was forced to listen to what he truely knew all along but didn't want to say. He listened to her say the truth of her injuries and illness, and when she mentioned the mirror he cringed. Had he really been that bad? The memories of the night were fading, but he still had a vauge clue as to what went one. Keith snogged him, he snogged Keith, Elizabeth came in, someone screamed... Then he remebered waking up in a bush just a few feet away from his own vomit. Lovely.

He looked at Elizabeth again, who was staring at the ground. She didn't look good in snow. Well, she looked good everywhere in his mind, but she didn't look... right. Elizabeth in snow looked like a goth in a happy-person convention. She was too pretty for the dull snow. Jay looked right in snow. He was dull. Pale, even.

[elizabeth keighle]

I found myself a tiny bit worried when I got no reply, he usually says something after anything anyone says, but now he was just silent. Maybe I upset him a little when I told him about the mirror, but he'd have to know at some point - which was now. I was freezing to death now, I was only wearing a jacket with the sleeves rolled up, a vest top and black shorts with tights. Something else to add to the list. Now I was freezing, starving, exhausted and bleeding. What's going to top that next? It wasn't going well for me now. I had to get inside before I catch a cold or something worse. I was still holding on to Jay and I had no idea how I was going to get back to my dorm without collapsing. Er... I couldn't exactly crawl back on my hands and knees, people would think I was an idiot... Which would get spread all around the school which I didn't want to happen. I wasn't in the mood for rumours about me at this point in time, I never was actually, but especially not at this time.

I bit my lip, still trying to think up a plan without making Jay take me back. Even though our friendship seemed to be healing, I wasn't ready for his help... Yet. But I had already been clinging on to him for support. Who needs a plan anyway? If I fall, I fall. I pushed myself slowly away from Jay, trying to stay balanced. The snow wasn't helping, it was almost certain I'd slip on it anyway. I concentrated hard, making sure I didn't slip or collapse.

I give in, I just can't, I'm too tired to be doing things alone right now, I just want to go back to my dorm, treat the cuts, sleep, and when I wake up, I'll eat something, and then I should be OK. I looked back up at Jay, with now tired eyes that were filled with tears - but I wasn't crying.

Will you help me get back to my dorm? I whispered, not exactly finding my voice again.

ooc ;;

short.. :l

[jay macburren]

What an aweful thought, it was, compairing his friend to something as easily breakable as a glass doll. But it was true, it felt like if he hugged her too tight she would break and shatter and turn the snow red. When she let go of him, she looked as though she would fall over. He felt his legs tensing, like they did when he was little, playing soccer goalie.

Jay nodded, blinking a couple times, slow, and took off his jacket. He held it out to Lizzy. "You're cold." He said. Well, it wasn't exactly unlike Jay to point out the obvious. He looked at Elizabeth, his gaze calm and steady, but he knew she could probally see the hurt in his eyes.

[elizabeth keighle]

I watched him as he took off his jacket and tried giving it to me, but I refused. It was nice of him to offer, but if I was stupid enough to come outside in the freezing cold without a jacket, which I was, I'm not exactly going to let someone take pity on me like that. I sighed, it was so cold, you could see my breath in clouds. Jay didn't answer my question. I guess I'm just going to be stuck here longer in the snow.

I won't let you give me your coat you know, I was stupid enough to come out here like this so I'll suffer. I paused a second, blinking, I'm not going to let you freeze to death because of me. I've already hurt you enough times.

I went over what I'd done to hurt him over the past 3 days. I held him by the throat while he was lying on his back at night, I told him I hated him, I slapped him, I kicked him in the back with high heels and made him vomit, I banged on his door during his hangover, and now he wanted me to make him freeze? No way.

Come to think of it, I can be really mean to the people who love me... Now I know why Jay called me a bitch... It should be my middle name rather than Labelle. I should be Elizabeth "Bitch" Keighle. That suits me more...

I looked up and into his eyes... I had to look down at him. I'd really killed his happy spirit, hadn't I?

[jay macburren]

Yes, it was cold out. No, if Jay didn't have his jacket on he wasn't going to freeze to death. Elizabeth was. Growing up, playing hockey for a few years, ice-skating his whole life and playing futball in the cold and rain and sleet... It had made him alright with the cold. It was easy to make-due with the nasty weather. "I'm wearing a long-sleved shirt. You aren't." That was true, however, it was a thin under-armor. He hoped she couldn't notice the "x" on his back, near his neck.

Holding out hiis jacket to her again, he said, "Please." He said, meeting her gaze with steady blue-ish hazel-ish eyes. "I'll feel like a jerk-ish prick if you don't." He said almost jokingly. "And I won't freeze to death."

[elizabeth keighle]

I was stuck then, I didn't want to feel warm any more, but at the same time, I didn't want to freeze to death. Okay, I'm just going to walk back to my dorm now, and if I fall, I fall. The right corner of my mouth pulled up into a tiny smile. He met my gaze and told me he'd feel like a jerk-ish prick if I didn't wear his coat. I carefully thought about it this time, should I make him feel like a jerk-ish prick or should I just wear the coat? I then knew what my answer would be.

I'm already ill as it is, I think it'd be best if only one of us went to the dance looking like this, ... I'll be better later, I promise... See you at the nightclub.

I let go of him quickly, thinking up the quickest route back to my dorm. Got it. I ran off, even though I was completely drained and the ground was wet and slippery. I knew that if I went quickly, I wouldn't fall until I got back. On my way, I held onto anything I could find in the way for help, and eventually I made it back through the unlocked door of my own personal space. I was gasping for breath at this time, and I just couldn't be bothered treating the cut any more. I made my way over to the bed, still bleeding and starving, but warmer and soon to be energetic again...

Later, I thought, I'll get a few close friends to come over, and we'll eat something and I should be better for the dance.

I then closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming about everything I wanted with a dead smile.

ooc ;;

we need to get to the dance o.O that's why i ended this here, remember jay arrives FIRST ;D